I got ragged on today that I haven't posted any bike content in awhile and that I apparently need to get back on my bike because my blogs are getting weirder and weirder. I was hoping they would be entertaining, but I digress.
Anyway, next weekend I will be out in Fruita doing some of the classic rides so I'm sure some nice content will come from that. If you are looking to stalk me, well, just hang out at Over the Edge all weekend and you might see me...
Anyway, today I just wanted to give a quick shout out to Rock 'N' Roll lube. I've been using this stuff since Dave Horstmann from the Bike Shop in Marshall, MN recommended I give it a shot.
Choice of chain lube is about as varied as choice of tire and people definitely have their favorites. What I like about this stuff though, is that it's cleaning AND lubricating. Just apply it to your dirty-assed chain, spin it around a few times, and wipe it off. It will clean the chain pretty well, protect it for many rides to come, and not get that black spray crap all over your chainstay like some lubes do.
I don't know why most bike shops don't carry this stuff. It seems like a lot of the really good bike shops are just starting to catch on and have it in inventory, but it's been around for many years. Locally in Denver, I know that Salvagetti stocks it and they are conveniently just off the Cherry Creek trail near downtown.
You might be set on your current chain lube, that's cool, but if you have an open mind try picking one of these up, it might be the last time you use any other brand.
Welcome enthusiasts and searchers of the letter T, also known as the letter t!
I have nottotally lost it. Ever since I started utilizing Google Analytics I've been surprised and amused atthe search words and phrases people use to find my blog. A phrase of totally random words can be pulled from several posts to come up with a search string I never thought of or intended. What I never expected however, was that so many people would find it just be searching for "t", notthe "letter t", or "Mr. T", just "t".
Perhaps more disturbing and disappointing was the position of my blog within the searches for the letter t. Let me take a momentto tell you, I was a long ways toward the tail end, and there were some pretty lame sites ahead of me. With this totally informative post, I plan to better my search rankings while paying tribute to the the letter t. I just hope in the process that I do not let you "t" enthusiasts down and portray myself as a sellout, I would hate to alienate what looks to be one of my top fan bases.
Three of the sites ahead of me in t position (until after today that is, take that):
I can't Believe it's not Butter - I can, butthat's beside the point. I assume the tasty no-trans fat alternative ranks higher than me because the title utilizes 4 T's while my lowly site only uses 3 t's.
Excel Can't Multiply - What a titilating subject.. Any techie tumultuous enough to write an entire post on this subject deserves the top search position
Tampax Pearl White tampons - it's all aboutthe hit counts and attracting unsuspecting internettravelers, I stayed awake at night contemplating how I might integrate tampons in to a post of thoughts, welcome new audience!
Tyrannasaurus Rex - expert scientists think this gigantic reptile became extinct after a comet hitthe earth
White Subaru Legacy GT Limited - tinted and turbocharged with lots of traction
Two wheeled Trek mountain bike - lots of travel
Not an International tractor - this one is for my father
GarrettT-25 turbocharger nextto a GarrettT04 turbocharger - take a look atthe tiny turbo
Eagle Talon TSI (built by Mitsubishi) equipped from the factory with a T-25 turbocharger - topped with too much snow
The bike content has been a little weak and I apologize for that, that's what happens when you're taking some time off... Anyway, maybe this funny little video that has nothing to do with biking will tie you over...
First off, if you are coming here via a search, don't be a dumbass... If you've gotten an email from Brigadier General Valerie Norman, obviously it's a fake and they're looking to scam as much money off of you as they can...
Awhile back I read some of my SPAM email one day, and the one from "Brigadier General Valerie Norman" cracked me up the most. So I decided to create a fake email account and string the scammers on a little. The conversations that follow are from those encounters.
The original spam/scam email:
From: Valerie Norman Subject: Thank you in advance for your anticipated co-operation Date: Thu, 18 Oct 2007 18:06:42 +0200
Attention
Complement, I am Brigadier General Valerie Norman from Denmark, and the Field Commandant to the United Nations peacekeeping Force to Lebanon. During the last three weeks attack and invasion of the Rebels Base in Gaza and Lebanon, we recovered large sums of money loaded in a box. We are convinced that this money belongs to the Terrorists or Rebels being sponsored by their Islamic communities/countries. Having recovered this money,we cannot send it to the treasury of the Lebanese government, neither will it be given to the authority or Organization we are representing. In Lebanon and Gaza at the moment, movement of funds in and out of Lebanon is strictly monitored making it absolutely difficult for International Communities right here to transfer their funds out-side Lebanon unless there is an authority Letter from their Defence Ministry, Accountant General of the Federation's office explaining what the funds are and for what purposes. knowing fully well about these procedures, we decided to deposit the box in a reliable Security Company here in Lebanon. The title of the Deposit is "FAMILY TREASURY". Till this moment, the Security Company did not know the true content in the Box, all they know is that it is Family Treasury.
All we need from you is your cooperation in accepting this funds in your account. If this proposal is OK to you, please quickly get back to us through this most exclusive e-mail address valerianorman001@yahoo.com so that we can forward to you more details of the affair. The total amount in the box is $35.3 Million Dollars.
Thank you in advance for your anticipated co-operation.
Regards, Brigadier General Valerie Norman
My first reply where I mention I'm Danish as well and would like to speak in the native tongue and ask to be an honorary Brigadier General:
Hi, thank you so much for emailing me! I am astounded you found me, but I would like to help as much as I can with the peacekeeping efforts. Just tell me what I need to do and I will gladly help.
Additionally, I was wondering if you would bestow upon me the award of being honorary Brigadier General of Denmark? I'm assuming since you found me that you know my qualifications and would be honored to have me as part of your peacekeeping forces?
I am also Danish by heritage and still speak much of the native tongue, it may be better for "surveillance" reasons if we continue to speak only in the native Danish tongue, if you know what I mean... [wink]
I look forward to talking to you soon!
Sincerely, Bob Kratchet
Anyway, here is the funny reply I was sent:
Date: Fri, 19 Oct 2007 02:35:04 -0700 (PDT) From: "BRIG. GEN. VALERIE Norman" Subject: RE: Thank you in advance for your anticipated co-operation
Dear Bob Kratchet,
Thank you so very much for your response. Like we said in our proposal to you, the fund is in two metal boxes, sealed and had been deposited in a Security Company here in Lebanon. Due to the situation here, we would not want you to come down to Lebanon for the claim. My colleagues and I have already made an arrangement with a Security Vault in Spain where the metal boxes will be transferred to and deposited as "Family Treasury". However, I am personally happy that you are related to Denmark and I wish that you will not betray the trust that we are about to bestow on you in this affair. Let me inform you that I am not alone in this transaction, we are six in numbers who are connected with this transaction, so, there is no need using any other dialect as other of my colleagues may feel otherwise.
Without wasting much time, we would like to have the following information from you. 1. Your full name and address 2. your exclusive telephone and fax numbers Upon the receipt of these information, we shall update you more on the affair and how we planned to transfer the two metal box from Lebanon to Spain.
Let us inform you also that we shall take care of all the expenses of the movement of the consignments (2 boxes) from Lebanon to Spain. But we might not be able to be responsible for further expenses of the clearing of the consignment in Spain due to the prevailing situation here in the Lebanon. You shall pay for the clearing in Spain.
We wait for your response as soon as possible.
Regards, Brig. Gen. Valerie Norman
For fun, I replied with this mentioning I think we dated in high school:
Wait a minute, is this Valerie Norman? THE Valerie Norman? I thought your name sounded familiar, but couldn't place it before. You remember I said I was Danish too, we used to date in high school! Don't you remember? My name had to sound familiar to you as well!
We broke up at the end of our senior year after that little incident on the soccer field, I'm still sorry for that, I honestly didn't know there was a game that night and that all the lights were going to come on... After that I got all depressed and gained a bunch of weight, they called me Bob the blob in college because I gained so much weight... But then I lost it doing powerlifting competitions (the kind where you pull buses with your teeth) and we got back together briefly at the end of that year. You thought you were pregnant but it turned out to be a false alarm. We never spoke again after that and I guess that must have been when you went in to the military. I never knew you took that path because I moved away, that was SO long ago!
Wow! It's awesome to talk to you again! I really trust you now, I was a little scared with just a random email before, but it makes sense why you found me now! Just tell me what you need from me, I'll be glad to help!
Sincerely, Bob Kratchet
Obviously that one was over the top, but I didn't fucking care, here is the reply I got back:
Dear Bob,
We have resolved that you forget about assisting us in the business because it appears that you are kidding. Do I tell you that I am a girl? Thank God we have not forwarded your name to the security company as the beneficiary of the two boxes.
We shall look for another contact person to assist us. Bye
Brig. Gen. Valerie Norman
If I hadn't grown bored with it I could have strung them on some more, but it had gotten old. How many times can I hear they need my full name, address, and information before it gets tiresome. Cracks me up, they *claim* to be stealing 35 million, but "thank God" they did not forward my name to the security company for kidding with them...
I really don't get it... We all saw and barely comprehended Ozzy on his reality TV show, we saw him singing "Take me out to the Ballgame", so how is it that his new songs are so rockin' and you can actually understand what he is saying?
I'm just glad it is so good, the music is refreshing and awesome with a Black Sabbath feel to it... You can listen to the full "I Don't Wanna Stop" song on his website.
Searching Amazon.com to see if Apocalypse Now could be downloaded to my TiVo and apparently people who search for Apocalypse Now make pretty random purchases. Somehow bras, teddies, and GPSs weren't the crowd I expected to be watching Apocalypse Now...
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Went to Bandimere Speedway (the local dragstrip) tonight after work for my 2-3 times summerly speed fix. Since picking up the nice new Legacy I've been thinking about selling the Talon while it still has value since it's sitting outside rotting in the sun now. I kind of wanted to dip the little 4 cylinder in to the 12s before I did that though. Tonight was a perfect night to go fast, even at Bandimere's 5800ft of altitude, because it was nice and cool.
BUTTT, because it was the last "Test and Tune" of the summer season, everybody with any type of car was out and the lines were so long to run that I sat for 2 hours before my first shot. I sort of wish I'd gone to the 100mph+ day where only cars fast enough to hit 100mph in the 1/4 were invited, but I digress. Lots of cool old muscle cars there tonight, lots of DSMs, lots of foxbody Mustangs, and TONS of Subaru STIs.
On the way out the car was so low on gas that I had to stop. Last time I filled with Sunoco 100 at the local gas station, but that was closed now. I was stuck with putting 91 in and limping to the track, keeping my foot off the gas since the car's computer was set up for 100 octane. I could have changed it, but I was lazy.
Got to the track and the line just to get in was 45 min long. Once in, I drove over to the gas station and, when confronted with WAY too many choices, finally settled on some stuff called something like Sunoco Maximal, sounds like Russell Crowe movie. Basically it was 116 octane leaded gas that I'm only allowed to run when I take my catalytic converter off at the track and put a test pipe on [wink]. I settled on this because I wasn't able to get the car lean enough for optimal power on 100 octane. I was doing the math in my head and averaging out the octane I was adding to what was in there and figured 3 gallons of 116 would put me right around 112 octane.
Went to tech where the guy asked me how fast I was going to run. I asked if there were any helmets left as you need to wear one when you go 13.99 sec or faster and he said no, so I said "it's going to run 14s then". He laughed and said I could get away with that for one run, but after that they'd get mad. I then drove to the staging lanes and sat for another hour.
The first run was nothing spectacular. I ran a 13.5 @ 103.4mph against a poor Ford F-150 who ran an 18.1 @ 76mph. I don't even know why he was there, but he was having fun.
Next run I lined up against the supercharged Pontiac Grand Prix GTP. I was hoping that would be exciting, but as soon as I looked over and noticed he didn't have a helmet on I was bummed. I ran a 13.2 @102.7mph against his 15.3 @ 89mph. This run had enough crankcase pressure to blow the dipstick out of its tube and spray oil all over the place, great...
At this point I'm bummed, still that dang 13.2 time... why can't I get just 0.3 more seconds out of this thing? What am I doing wrong? Even with all-wheel-drive I was spinning bad and I still had a bunch more leaning out to do, so I dropped the tires down to 25psi and changed the fuel map to lean it out some past 3000rpm all the way up to redline, I also turned the boost controller down just slightly.
I line up next to a Ford Lightning... he has a full-face helmet on and everything, whoopee, this is going to be fun. Still spin off the line again, but changing the air-fuel ratio seemed to wake the car up slightly. I run a 13.2 @ 103.8 mph against his 13.8 @ 99mph. It seemed like he was beside me most of the way and listening to that supercharged V8 was nice...
Hmm, it still has a bunch more fuel I can pull out of that curve to wake it up, but as I come around to run again the line is so small that I can't hook up the laptop and make any changes. So in a last desperate effort I just give the boost controller a little twist and turn it back up, probably to just at 25psi... 25psi in the tires, 25psi getting hurtled in to the engine...
Line up against a poor little Jetta, but this time I'm in the left lane where apparently there is more traction. Cover the first 60 feet in 1.77 seconds and end up running 13.1 @ 104.5mph vs. the poor little Jetta's 16.6 @ 86mph. By comparison, it took the Jetta 2.85 seconds to cover the first 60 feet.
Overall I'm not bummed, but damnit, why couldn't I just get 0.2 seconds faster out of that thing? I tried removing the headlight at the track so super cold air could get right to the intake, but the one bolt is in a really precarious place under the bumper and cover and I just didn't have the tools or skin on my hands for it... Sadly, doing that and leaning it out a little more probably would have given me the 0.2 seconds easily...
Here'a video (for those not on dial-up) from a couple years ago when it was a little slower....
Went to the Adams Family baby shower this weekend. Baby Ariel was the definite main attraction of the day. Although Tom did get his penny farthing out for us to attempt to ride around the block, that was a definite highlight! Beware, the pictures which follow were taken with a cell phone camera!
Chris went first, I've never seen this as part of the tapering plan for a solo 24 hours of Moab... :) Chris, you're welcome to pirate these for your blog....
I went next, the 52" penny farthing was a little too far to the pedals for me.. so I freaked out, and basically did a penny farthing trackstand before bailing.
Brian also took a shot at it.. Then Tom showed us how it was done, hopping on and telling us we had to ride with gusto, going so fast down the street that the cell phone camera couldn't catch him... Even Aysh got to hope on and take it for a ride!
A Nissan Altima going down the interstate, with a trunk bike rack on, and toting a penny farthing on that rack.... that completely made my day... I almost whipped through the median to chase it down and get a picture....
I got ragged on today that I haven't posted any bike content in awhile and that I apparently need to get back on my bike because my blogs are getting weirder and weirder. I was hoping they would be entertaining, but I digress.
